One day a verbose woman asked her husband:

"Why do men often call their wives or girlfriends with emotional words as my kitty, my lovely pigeon... but you've never called me like that?"

"Well, from now on I'll call you my small lioness."

Wife: "Why? Whenever seeing any girl, you stare at her as if you intended to devour her. Remember that you are married."

Husband: "Oh, my honey! I always do. However for a man on diet, it doesn't mean that he isn't allowed to have a look at the menu in the restaurant."  

Two husbands are chatting:

"I'm very sad. My wife recalls her former husband all the time."

"It's lucky for you. My wife is worse.She always talks about her future husbands."

Neighbour: "Did I bring your lawn mower back last month?"

Indignant Householder: "No, you did not."

Neighbour: "Now what'll I do? I want to borrow it again."

"Do you make life - size enlargements of snapshots?"

"That's our speciality"

"Fine! Here's a picture I took of the Pyramid"